Who are your mentors? Especially spiritually? Who are those people that you look to the most for advice and who teach you the most? Maybe a pastor, your parents, an older friend, a youth leader, a teacher, or a professor? Keep that person in mind.
And, if no one came to mind, you might relate to me about four years ago. I've always walked to the beat of my own drum as they say. Usually, I'm confident in my beliefs and decisions, and I do not go seeking out the help of others in making those decisions or strengthening those beliefs. I have my Bible and my prayer life. That's enough. The problem is that it is not enough, at least if you believe Scripture. We were created to live in relationships with others. In the act of creating the first woman, God was designing people to help one another, to protect one another, to listen to one another, to teach one another. 1 Peter 5:1-5 talks about "the elders...shepherding the flock of god that is among you...and likewise you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." This relationship of receiving advice and guiding those who are younger is not optional. It is commanded in Scripture.
Of course, for me, it was not as simple as reading this passage and feeling immediately convicted. Instead, while serving in a leadership role, I found myself fumbling about in many ways. I had arrived at one of those familiar crossroads. Confused about where to go next in my career and filled with agonizing questions about what the future held (in some ways I have yet to leave this crossroads), I was crying on the phone with my mom. To give myself some credit, I had sense enough to call a parent and at least express some of the fears and questions running through my mind. But, I was not in a posture to listen. I still believed the solution lay somewhere in my swirling mind. My beautiful, wise momma graciously challenged me to consider meeting with someone older than me and talking about life. A name immediately popped in my head, as if it had been waiting there in case I ever humbled myself enough to consider the idea.
Thus began a precious season of meeting a friend and mentor regularly just to chat about life over Starbucks coffee. She had many words of advice and sometimes just a nod of understanding. I found myself anxiously awaiting those Saturday mornings, looking forward to asking for input about some complicated relationship or situation in my life. And, also I relished the stories we would share and the laughs over her adventures as a new parent. Oh how I would have missed out if I had ignored this prompting from my mom, who has also been a "slightly" more long-term mentor of mine.
Now, let's return to those of you who already had a mentor in mind. Maybe, as I was describing one of my mentors, nostalgia overwhelmed you as you recalled your own sweet memories with your mentor. For some of you, though, I have a feeling that there is pain associated with a mentor in your life. The truth is that, while we must have these sharpening, encouraging people in our lives, they often hurt us. Or sometimes, they just leave, and their absence hurts us.
What do we do when this happens? Especially if that person wounded us or failed us in some way, it becomes easy to throw our hands in the air and decide to do whatever we want. We feel released from responsibility because they are gone. We lose our bearings because they did not live up to our expectations. We were following them, but now we are not so sure of the path or if we want to be on it anymore.
There is a terribly sad story in the Bible that gives a picture of this progression from firmly grounded mentee to loose cannon. (You can find the whole story, which I will not have time to fully summarize here, in 2 Chronicles 22-24.) To set the stage for this tragedy, there was once a young prince named Joash who was rescued from his murderous royal family and adopted into the family of a priest named Jehoiada. Jehoiada raised Joash and taught him in all the ways of the Lord and then, when the time came, he fought to place Joash on the throne that was rightfully his. Under the leadership of Joash, who was still following the counsel of Jehoiada, the people of Judah returned to the Lord and worshiped him with their whole hearts. He had incredible influence spiritually over the people, and he decided to devote himself to restoring the house of the Lord. Sounds like a happy, victorious story so far...
Well, at the incredible age of 130, Jehoiada dies (not shockingly!). Immediately after the death of his mentor, Joash is visited by a group of princes who praise him and so distract him from the Lord (perhaps with thoughts of his own glory and goodness), that together they lead their people completely away from God and renew the worship of other pagan gods and idols. Even though God sends prophets to draw Joash back, he never repents, and his story ends in complete tragedy.
When I read this story a few months ago, what came into clear focus for me was the importance of mentors and how, like any relationship or tool established for good, they can end up being our downfall. Jehoiada as a mentor to Joash was clearly a blessing and, without him, Joash might not have ever come to love God or lead his people in such pure devotion to God. But clearly, Joash must have completely relied on Jehoiada for the heart of his belief and motivation to follow Christ. The very moment he was gone, Joash lacked all resolve to resist the temptation of other gods. Maybe Jehoiada and the security Joash felt in him was a type of idol for Joash.
My question is what would happen if your mentor disappeared and people of opposing beliefs surrounded you, praising you and counseling you to go a different way? Would you immediately feel lost and blindly follow? Or what if a mentor in your life suddenly made a grievous mistake or revealed a side of themselves you had never seen before? Would you question the values they had imparted to you? Would you abandon those values, feeling that they were futile now that the person who taught them to you had failed to measure up?
The burden on my heart in sharing this story and these thoughts about mentorship is that more people would value relationships with mentors, counselors, godly parents and teachers, but that they would value them realistically and graciously. The reality is that people, even those most essential to your growth, will leave you or you will leave them at some point. It is also very likely that they will disappoint you. But the point of these relationships is not to provide you with a perfect example but to lead you closer to Jesus and to his will for your life. Often these relationships will build into you for many years until you are a strong tower for the Lord. But, at some point, even the breaking off of these relationships or the realization that these leaders in your life are in fact just broken human beings can lead you closer to Jesus, if you let it. Joash is an example of someone not prepared for this break. He did not run to God in that moment of fear, grief, and disillusionment. He looked away.
In Isaiah, however, we see a man who allowed the death of his mentor and leader King Uzziah (I'm drawing on context from previous Bible lessons and do not have citations for this information) to drive him to his most profound vision of the Lord yet! Isaiah 6:1 says, "In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple."
This is my prayer for myself and for anyone reading, that in that moment of greatest disappointment or loss, we would be given the grace to turn toward the Lord and not away. I pray that, when faced with human weakness and the limitations of human relationships, we would see more fully the beauty of God and the perfection of his wisdom, counsel, and revelation. May we see him more every day until that beautiful day when we see him clearly without veil or mist.
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