This morning, I took a stroll through Downtown Bryan. Wooed by the sunlight after weeks of unusually cold weather for Texas, I wandered past trees such as this one. I traced a trail on one stretch of grass and paced back and forth for some time. The sun beat down, no cloud threatening to shroud its rays. The birds chirped, and an ever so slight breeze blew through my hair.
My thoughts went to "adoration," an approach towards God that I have been challenged to practice lately. The adoration of nature comes to me like breathing, especially on a morning like this. And I began to think of how God is like the sun, and He is far more beautiful than this "blossom-less" tree. Lately, the winter weather has tried me. And not just the winter weather, but the darkness. A sudden anxiousness will seize me in the twilight. As the day comes to a close, I sense that I have failed, that the hopes I held in the morning light have withered. I doubt tomorrow's ability to produce joy. The unpredictable, unknown nature of dreams looms before me. The darkness of the night makes the sunlight ever brighter.
And I began to think about how God is both light and life. This picture I snapped reflects him so clearly. The tree speaks of life and the blue sky reflects the light of the sun. I long for light and life because I am made to long for God.
Lately, I have been meditating on how suffering and disappointment point us more clearly to our need for God. We should see suffering as a gift from God because it draws us deeper to the only true source of light and life. But that is the catch. He IS the light and life. When we are in the midst of darkness, facing death, depression, or addiction, He is not those things. He is present in these places but they have no mastery over Him. In places of darkness, we as human beings quickly become overwhelmed, but He cannot be overwhelmed. He remains just as bright - just as good, holy, loving, powerful, compassionate, faithful, life-giving. The darkness casts shadows on me because I am part of this earth. But, there is something true of me because I am God's child. The core of me is also light. The darkness can only cast shadows; it cannot seize control of me again. It cannot consume me because it has been consumed once and for all by God, in the same way that the rising sun on a clear day consumes darkness.
"Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you." Psalm 139: 12
I must adore a God who is eternal sunshine! Sometimes, as I adore God for being my Redeemer, I forget to adore Him for those characteristics that make Him ABLE to be my Redeemer. As much as I need to understand His work of redemption, I need to understand His work of creation. In the beginning, He created, and everything He created was good. His nature is orderly and beautiful. His nature has not changed. And because of that unchangeably perfect nature, He has the power to change me.
