My mind is most receptive to stories. You can lecture me about something. You can tell me something very plainly and directly. I may remember it. I may put it into practice. But, my mind quickly grows like a vine around a story, clinging to it until it becomes a very part of me. Because of this aspect of my nature, I must be very cautious in approaching stories. I watched a movie the other night called "Like Crazy." It was well made - good acting, beautiful music, compelling plot and dialogue. Unfortunately, it was incredibly depressing and left me with a sense of hopelessness about finding love. This was a poor story choice on my part because, as compelling stories always do, it has woven it's way into my psyche and now has stuck there, an image that is sure to reappear at inconvenient times.
Some days I make better story choices and my return is rich. A couple weeks ago, I made a day of watching Gone With the Wind. Reading this novel had been a semester long process. I have been living in this story for quite some time. I ended with watching the movie, hoping to erase my childhood impressions of it being a movie about a silly girl who can't stop talking about an uninteresting, married man who has a girl's name. The novel had done the trick, and this time around I was captivated by Scarlett, Rhett, and Mammy. A few hours later, the vine around this story in my mind had begun blooming, and here's what I wrote in my journal.
I have just paused to read out of Isaiah 30-35. These passages inspire fear of the Lord in me, but it's a fear that also draws me to Him in the same way I am drawn to a man that is rough, strong enough to protect me, and angry about what he ought to be angry about. God calls me out on my silly love affairs with weak, powerless gods. It reminds me of Rhett and Scarlett in a way, although I know it's a flawed comparison. Rhett is always trying to show Scarlett that he is the one she needs, the one who truly loves her and can give her the love that will most satisfy her. He is furious that she continues to pine after Ashley, who is nothing like her, is weak, and only loves the shell of her as a man lusts after a woman. Rhett's anger clearly springs from a deep love for Scarlett and desire for her to return his love.
In a much truer, holier way, God grows angry the more we take his deep, perfect love for granted and chase after a mirage of satisfaction. He continues to wait patiently for us to wake up. He continues to offer us protection, but sometimes he allows us to get hurt in His desire for us to finally see that He is better. He always speaks honestly, and He always knows our true intentions. We can't fake love for Him to get what we want. He wants it all. But, unlike Rhett, He will never walk out the door, cold after years of being rejected by his beloved. He is here to stay. And He is gentle but never the weak, feminine, angelic being we so often paint him to be. No wonder we get bored with Him. We don't even take the time to see who He really is.
For those who know and love Rhett, hopefully this will make sense. For those who don't it will be gibberish. For those who don't connect with flawed analogies and literary allusions, you may not want to read what I write in the future because I promise they will come up again. I beg you to read Isaiah 33 today and see a God who is both mighty and gracious, a savior and a judge, a consuming fire and the stability of our times. Is this the God you worship? Or do you only call on him when you need money while you chase after a will-o'-the-wisp?
