Within the last few days, I have been reading out of Isaiah 62-64. Reading through these passages, I am overcome with awe at God's mercy. The following is one selection that stood out to me:
"You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her and your land Married; for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you." 62:3-5
I love this image of God claiming us as a jewel in His crown, a precious diadem in His very hand. And I love the idea that He delights in us. He actually comes to us as a young man on his wedding day, thrilled to be with us, to make us his own, to unite with us. And the opposing image of one Forsaken and Desolate - to this one who feels rejected and alone, He says that she has a new name - "You shall be called The Holy People, the Redeemed of the Lord...You shall be called Sought Out, A City Not Forsaken." (62:12)
Sought Out is the name I most identify with, the name I most want to own. I think it is what I feel the lack of most. Being sought out is such an incredible feeling. As a woman, it is what you most desire from a man. You do not want to have to chase him down and remind him you are there. You want to be chased, Sought Out. And yet, so often in our broken world, we are more accustomed to Abandonment. We are Discarded. We are Forgotten.
And here Jesus comes saying, "My people, I have given you a new name. By your very identity, you are Sought Out. And this doesn't end when I marry you. You are always going to be Sought Out by me. When all your other lovers have lost interest, I will always find you in the dark places you try to hide. You will forever be Sought Out because that is the definition of our relationship. I saw you when all you could see was your own sin and your cheap loves toying with your affections. I delighted in you even before you knew even a fraction of my nature, of who I AM."
And yet, in contrast to this beautiful chase of God after His people, throughout these passages there rises a plea for mercy from the people of God. Why this plea for mercy? Because the people of God - the ones called Sought Out - have continuously turned away from Him. And now they beg for mercy. And I see myself all through these passages, pitiful and pleading for help when I was the one who ran away and got myself into this mess.
"He became their Savior. In all their affliction, he was afflicted, and the angel of His presence saved them; in His love and in His pity he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old." (63:8-9)
"But they rebelled and grieved his Holy Spirit; therefore he turned to be their enemy, and himself fought against them." (63:10)
I love their prayer in 63:15-64:12. They recount the goodness of God and His past mercy, and they continue to ask where He has gone, how He could keep silent, why He is angry. I think if I were God, I would have responded with, "I gave everything for you once. And not just once. We've been through this a few times, and frankly I'm tired of you calling on me to be gracious to you for my name's sake. You are the one who has disgraced my name, and I do not need you in order for my glory to be known among the nations. You act as if I'm the hard-hearted one when you're the one who was so quick to rebel and leave a God "who put in the midst of you His Holy Spirit, who caused his glorious arm to go at the right hand of Moses, who divided the waters before you to make for himself an everlasting name, who led you through the depths...and gave you rest." (63:11-14) You're wondering how I can restrain myself and keep silent as you suffer in the pit you dug for yourself? I'm wondering why on earth I would have any desire to rescue and even listen to such a faithless, stupid people."
Thankfully, this is not God's response. Instead He says, "As the new wine is found in the cluster, and they say, 'Do not destroy it, for there is blessing in it,' so I will do for my servants' sake, and not destroy them all" (65:8).
Do we grasp how unfathomable is the mercy of God? How unreasonable? Who is this God who we frequently abandon or squeeze into a small portion of our day? - A God who "did awesome things that we did not look for; you came down, the mountains quaked at your presence. From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you who acts for those who wait for him" (64:3-4).
A God who responds to our prayer of "You were angry, and we sinned; in our sins we have been a long time, and shall we be saved?" with "Yes, yes you shall be saved," who says to the Discarded, "Wait, save it. There is a blessing in it. I can make something new out of this trash."
We are all the work of His merciful hands (64:8). We are all Sought Out. And not just once. Not only when we are radiant from being in His presence. We are also Sought Out when we are dressed in polluted garments, melting in the clutch of sin, (64:6-7) and stretching out our hands to those who do not want us.
Showing posts with label Impression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Impression. Show all posts
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Friday, June 15, 2012
Rhett Butler and Will-o'-the-wisps
My mind is most receptive to stories. You can lecture me about something. You can tell me something very plainly and directly. I may remember it. I may put it into practice. But, my mind quickly grows like a vine around a story, clinging to it until it becomes a very part of me. Because of this aspect of my nature, I must be very cautious in approaching stories. I watched a movie the other night called "Like Crazy." It was well made - good acting, beautiful music, compelling plot and dialogue. Unfortunately, it was incredibly depressing and left me with a sense of hopelessness about finding love. This was a poor story choice on my part because, as compelling stories always do, it has woven it's way into my psyche and now has stuck there, an image that is sure to reappear at inconvenient times.
Some days I make better story choices and my return is rich. A couple weeks ago, I made a day of watching Gone With the Wind. Reading this novel had been a semester long process. I have been living in this story for quite some time. I ended with watching the movie, hoping to erase my childhood impressions of it being a movie about a silly girl who can't stop talking about an uninteresting, married man who has a girl's name. The novel had done the trick, and this time around I was captivated by Scarlett, Rhett, and Mammy. A few hours later, the vine around this story in my mind had begun blooming, and here's what I wrote in my journal.
I have just paused to read out of Isaiah 30-35. These passages inspire fear of the Lord in me, but it's a fear that also draws me to Him in the same way I am drawn to a man that is rough, strong enough to protect me, and angry about what he ought to be angry about. God calls me out on my silly love affairs with weak, powerless gods. It reminds me of Rhett and Scarlett in a way, although I know it's a flawed comparison. Rhett is always trying to show Scarlett that he is the one she needs, the one who truly loves her and can give her the love that will most satisfy her. He is furious that she continues to pine after Ashley, who is nothing like her, is weak, and only loves the shell of her as a man lusts after a woman. Rhett's anger clearly springs from a deep love for Scarlett and desire for her to return his love.
In a much truer, holier way, God grows angry the more we take his deep, perfect love for granted and chase after a mirage of satisfaction. He continues to wait patiently for us to wake up. He continues to offer us protection, but sometimes he allows us to get hurt in His desire for us to finally see that He is better. He always speaks honestly, and He always knows our true intentions. We can't fake love for Him to get what we want. He wants it all. But, unlike Rhett, He will never walk out the door, cold after years of being rejected by his beloved. He is here to stay. And He is gentle but never the weak, feminine, angelic being we so often paint him to be. No wonder we get bored with Him. We don't even take the time to see who He really is.
For those who know and love Rhett, hopefully this will make sense. For those who don't it will be gibberish. For those who don't connect with flawed analogies and literary allusions, you may not want to read what I write in the future because I promise they will come up again. I beg you to read Isaiah 33 today and see a God who is both mighty and gracious, a savior and a judge, a consuming fire and the stability of our times. Is this the God you worship? Or do you only call on him when you need money while you chase after a will-o'-the-wisp?
Some days I make better story choices and my return is rich. A couple weeks ago, I made a day of watching Gone With the Wind. Reading this novel had been a semester long process. I have been living in this story for quite some time. I ended with watching the movie, hoping to erase my childhood impressions of it being a movie about a silly girl who can't stop talking about an uninteresting, married man who has a girl's name. The novel had done the trick, and this time around I was captivated by Scarlett, Rhett, and Mammy. A few hours later, the vine around this story in my mind had begun blooming, and here's what I wrote in my journal.
I have just paused to read out of Isaiah 30-35. These passages inspire fear of the Lord in me, but it's a fear that also draws me to Him in the same way I am drawn to a man that is rough, strong enough to protect me, and angry about what he ought to be angry about. God calls me out on my silly love affairs with weak, powerless gods. It reminds me of Rhett and Scarlett in a way, although I know it's a flawed comparison. Rhett is always trying to show Scarlett that he is the one she needs, the one who truly loves her and can give her the love that will most satisfy her. He is furious that she continues to pine after Ashley, who is nothing like her, is weak, and only loves the shell of her as a man lusts after a woman. Rhett's anger clearly springs from a deep love for Scarlett and desire for her to return his love.
In a much truer, holier way, God grows angry the more we take his deep, perfect love for granted and chase after a mirage of satisfaction. He continues to wait patiently for us to wake up. He continues to offer us protection, but sometimes he allows us to get hurt in His desire for us to finally see that He is better. He always speaks honestly, and He always knows our true intentions. We can't fake love for Him to get what we want. He wants it all. But, unlike Rhett, He will never walk out the door, cold after years of being rejected by his beloved. He is here to stay. And He is gentle but never the weak, feminine, angelic being we so often paint him to be. No wonder we get bored with Him. We don't even take the time to see who He really is.
For those who know and love Rhett, hopefully this will make sense. For those who don't it will be gibberish. For those who don't connect with flawed analogies and literary allusions, you may not want to read what I write in the future because I promise they will come up again. I beg you to read Isaiah 33 today and see a God who is both mighty and gracious, a savior and a judge, a consuming fire and the stability of our times. Is this the God you worship? Or do you only call on him when you need money while you chase after a will-o'-the-wisp?
Monday, February 6, 2012
Finding the Words
I feel like I should have something to say, but I'm not sure what to say.
Often, that is how I feel about God. I start to speak about Him or to Him, and then I shrink back, fearing that I will get something wrong, that I will misjudge His character or assume too much of Him. The truth is that I frequently misjudge His character in my heart, thinking that He acts and thinks much as we as humans act and think. I assume that He gives good things because we deserve them and withholds because He is unhappy with us.
Lately, He has shaken this view of mine that He can somehow be equated with earthly things. Instead, I would be wise to look at how I know things work on earth and then imagine the opposite. I am mostly likely to find Him there, something other and unknown to me. And yet, He reveals so much of Himself to me through His Word and through His broken creation. I am in awe that He would take the time to sit with me as a parent would sit with a child working on her homework and correct my mistaken view of the world. I am most moved to tears when I suddenly realize that His grace has appeared in the most unlikely, unnoticed way in my life but in a way that soothes the pain that myself or others have caused.
I have been reading in Job lately, and it scares me to think of how often I sound like Job and his friends, "uttering what I do not understand, things too wonderful for me" (Job 42:3). I think about it in reference to this blog. It is highly probable that I have spoken once, if not many times, of what I do not understand, things too wonderful for me. I am seeking to know God more so that I may dare to speak of Him.
More than that, I want to learn how to talk to Him. I want to learn how to talk to a God who does not respond at all like any of my friends or family would. How do I lay out my silly complaints before God, who is guiding all aspects of my life and knows what is best for me (Romans 8:28)? How do I ask for things of a God, who could give me anything and who has indeed given me everything of value (Romans 8:32)? How do I praise a God, whose character will never fully be known to me? As a wife would slowly learn more about the man she has married, both good and bad, so I am struggling to learn more about this God I am in a relationship with, only He is all good and far more complex than any human man.
So I remain here, praying for grace to cover every word I speak. May my words would be guided by reverence and an uncontainable love for God.
Often, that is how I feel about God. I start to speak about Him or to Him, and then I shrink back, fearing that I will get something wrong, that I will misjudge His character or assume too much of Him. The truth is that I frequently misjudge His character in my heart, thinking that He acts and thinks much as we as humans act and think. I assume that He gives good things because we deserve them and withholds because He is unhappy with us.
Lately, He has shaken this view of mine that He can somehow be equated with earthly things. Instead, I would be wise to look at how I know things work on earth and then imagine the opposite. I am mostly likely to find Him there, something other and unknown to me. And yet, He reveals so much of Himself to me through His Word and through His broken creation. I am in awe that He would take the time to sit with me as a parent would sit with a child working on her homework and correct my mistaken view of the world. I am most moved to tears when I suddenly realize that His grace has appeared in the most unlikely, unnoticed way in my life but in a way that soothes the pain that myself or others have caused.
I have been reading in Job lately, and it scares me to think of how often I sound like Job and his friends, "uttering what I do not understand, things too wonderful for me" (Job 42:3). I think about it in reference to this blog. It is highly probable that I have spoken once, if not many times, of what I do not understand, things too wonderful for me. I am seeking to know God more so that I may dare to speak of Him.
More than that, I want to learn how to talk to Him. I want to learn how to talk to a God who does not respond at all like any of my friends or family would. How do I lay out my silly complaints before God, who is guiding all aspects of my life and knows what is best for me (Romans 8:28)? How do I ask for things of a God, who could give me anything and who has indeed given me everything of value (Romans 8:32)? How do I praise a God, whose character will never fully be known to me? As a wife would slowly learn more about the man she has married, both good and bad, so I am struggling to learn more about this God I am in a relationship with, only He is all good and far more complex than any human man.
So I remain here, praying for grace to cover every word I speak. May my words would be guided by reverence and an uncontainable love for God.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
On the Porch with Isaiah 42
Once again, it's been a while...
Sitting outside on my front porch on this gorgeous Saturday morning. Birds are chirping, and the sun is beginning to beat down on one side of my body. The world is still moving slowly. People are just beginning to stir and make their plans for the day.
It makes me think of how God plans the days ahead... As people, we all have different ways of making plans. Some of us are impulsive and spontaneous. We thrive on the adventure of not knowing where we our next step lies. Some of us are methodical and carefully plan each of our days, and not just today. We have our entire lives planned according to what makes the most sense and what we most desire so that the unknown can never threaten to induce a negative response from us. Some of us believe in serendipity, that life is just a series of fortunate accidents. We know we can't succeed at planning every aspect of our lives, but we also don't trust that some higher power is directing the course of our lives.
I don't pretend to know why people think so differently. And, I don't pretend to know precisely how our choices and God's plans interact. What I do know is that God is not sitting by watching this world fall to pieces and our lives unravel one thread at a time no matter how much or little we plan. He is God (creator, all-powerful) and Lord (personal, covenantal) who both "created the heavens and stretched them out" and "gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it" (Isaiah 42:5). He is an active God and a warrior. "The Lord goes out like a mighty man, like a man of war he stirs up his zeal" (Isaiah 42:13). He chose us and cares for us. "I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you." (Isaiah 42:6) And, most gracious of all, he sent His Son whom He called "my chosen, in whom my soul delights." He had a plan to "establish justice" and "lead the blind" and "turn the darkness before them into light" and "bring out prisoners from the dungeon." He set the stage of the world and never took His eyes off it. He had a solution when men and women chose to walk away from His loving protection. He was on a mission, and He was willing to give up what was most precious to Him.
....And he wants us to be a part of that mission - "a light to the nations."
So, if you are thinking through your plans for the day and for your life, rest assured that God's thinking too, but He has no doubt or hesitation. If you have your plans for the next ten years all laid out, stop and see how they fit into God's mission. What does your willingness or unwillingness to follow Him say about your desire to be united with Him?
There is something so comforting about resting in God's plans and having a heart that is one with His. Can you imagine if someone was planning to propose to you and you weren't cooperating? This guy you claim to love and spend all this time with has prepared the most extravagant of dates and all he asks is that you enjoy His company and follow His lead for the evening. If you put up a fight or complained about the restaurant or brought up some previous argument you had had or even just showed up sloppily dressed, wouldn't that taint the beauty of what he was about to do for you? Or, what if you knew it was coming, and you wanted to make sure it happened just so, and you told him? Wouldn't your joy in the moment be less because you knew what was coming? Or, wouldn't your disappointment be heightened if he decided to go against your wishes, even if it was for your own good? Worst of all, what if marriage wasn't even on your radar, particularly marriage with him? He professes his love and desire to be united to you in every way, and you tell him you're just not that interested. What had you been doing all that time with him?
These are just a few thoughts. The analogy is certainly not perfect. Just reflecting on Isaiah 42 this morning and the Lord's plans, purposefulness, faithfulness, presence, and care.
Sitting outside on my front porch on this gorgeous Saturday morning. Birds are chirping, and the sun is beginning to beat down on one side of my body. The world is still moving slowly. People are just beginning to stir and make their plans for the day.
It makes me think of how God plans the days ahead... As people, we all have different ways of making plans. Some of us are impulsive and spontaneous. We thrive on the adventure of not knowing where we our next step lies. Some of us are methodical and carefully plan each of our days, and not just today. We have our entire lives planned according to what makes the most sense and what we most desire so that the unknown can never threaten to induce a negative response from us. Some of us believe in serendipity, that life is just a series of fortunate accidents. We know we can't succeed at planning every aspect of our lives, but we also don't trust that some higher power is directing the course of our lives.
I don't pretend to know why people think so differently. And, I don't pretend to know precisely how our choices and God's plans interact. What I do know is that God is not sitting by watching this world fall to pieces and our lives unravel one thread at a time no matter how much or little we plan. He is God (creator, all-powerful) and Lord (personal, covenantal) who both "created the heavens and stretched them out" and "gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it" (Isaiah 42:5). He is an active God and a warrior. "The Lord goes out like a mighty man, like a man of war he stirs up his zeal" (Isaiah 42:13). He chose us and cares for us. "I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you." (Isaiah 42:6) And, most gracious of all, he sent His Son whom He called "my chosen, in whom my soul delights." He had a plan to "establish justice" and "lead the blind" and "turn the darkness before them into light" and "bring out prisoners from the dungeon." He set the stage of the world and never took His eyes off it. He had a solution when men and women chose to walk away from His loving protection. He was on a mission, and He was willing to give up what was most precious to Him.
....And he wants us to be a part of that mission - "a light to the nations."
So, if you are thinking through your plans for the day and for your life, rest assured that God's thinking too, but He has no doubt or hesitation. If you have your plans for the next ten years all laid out, stop and see how they fit into God's mission. What does your willingness or unwillingness to follow Him say about your desire to be united with Him?
There is something so comforting about resting in God's plans and having a heart that is one with His. Can you imagine if someone was planning to propose to you and you weren't cooperating? This guy you claim to love and spend all this time with has prepared the most extravagant of dates and all he asks is that you enjoy His company and follow His lead for the evening. If you put up a fight or complained about the restaurant or brought up some previous argument you had had or even just showed up sloppily dressed, wouldn't that taint the beauty of what he was about to do for you? Or, what if you knew it was coming, and you wanted to make sure it happened just so, and you told him? Wouldn't your joy in the moment be less because you knew what was coming? Or, wouldn't your disappointment be heightened if he decided to go against your wishes, even if it was for your own good? Worst of all, what if marriage wasn't even on your radar, particularly marriage with him? He professes his love and desire to be united to you in every way, and you tell him you're just not that interested. What had you been doing all that time with him?
These are just a few thoughts. The analogy is certainly not perfect. Just reflecting on Isaiah 42 this morning and the Lord's plans, purposefulness, faithfulness, presence, and care.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Send Some Rain
Sometimes (often for me), God speaks through poetry. The Psalms are the most obvious example, but I also think God can speak through literature, songs, and the poetry in nature. Last night, a friend of mine sat down at my electric upright piano and began playing a song from memory - "Gratitude" by Nicole Nordeman. The piano music is gorgeous in and of itself, but these particular lyrics spoke to me:
Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain
These lyrics reminded me of a day recently when my spirit was under a storm cloud. I trusted the Lord in the midst of the sorrow. I was more thankful than ever for His nearness. I had been feeling dry spiritually, and I knew that it was because I was clinging too much to happiness, which is only temporary. The next day, the Lord reminded me that my life's purpose is to glorify Him, not to achieve happiness. So, really, I might be sad and that might be His will because it means my character is growing stronger for His purposes. (Romans 8:28, James 1:2-4).
And yet, in that day of deep sorrow (it was a familiar place for me, but it had been a while since I had been there), all I wanted was the Lord's nearness (Psalm 73:26,28). I knew I could not remain in this place forever, but I also knew God could teach me in the midst of the feelings.
When it started raining - not a drizzle, but a downpour with thunder and lightning, the kind of storm that drives people indoors - I thanked God for answering a prayer I hadn't even asked. "Send some rain...cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again...Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down. Surely you can see that we are thirsty and afraid." I was lightheaded from laying out in the sun of happy days for too long. I was high on life (not a bad state of being if I am laying every blessings back at the Lord's feet). But, I was dry. I didn't want him to take away what he took away, but oh how lovely the rain felt on my thirsty soul.
"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" - Psalm 56:8
As I listened to the rain and remained sheltered away from the storm, I had this sense of God crying with me or pouring out these tears of mine that He had stored in a bottle. Physically it was raining to remind me of His compassion and mercy and to stir me to gratitude, to love for my Savior (Hero, Husband, Maker, Redeemer), to a movement forward into His purposes for me.
Sometimes, the rain doesn't come. The rain is a gift, not guaranteed in times of thirst. But, the lesson is always there. Most importantly, God is always there, maybe silent but not absent.
"This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me. I must perform my vows to you, O God; I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." - Psalm 56:10-13
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